Friday the 13th

As we all know the superstition of Friday the 13th is still around. I, myself, do not believe in superstitions, but today might have changed that.
First, at school they were doing a fundraiser to raise money for the drama team. This in itself was fine. But this was a fundraiser that meant buying flowers, roses or carnations, for people, and the drama team would deliver them to the person of your choice. I spent a total of 20 dollars on seven roses and two carnations, for my friends. In return I got a carnation. I absolutely love carnations, so it didn't matter to me if I got a rose or two, and even if I didn't get any flowers I wouldn't have really cared. But this one flower that I had, this one flower was ripped to shreds be one of my so called "friend." I was really sad. It wasn't intentional when he bumped it and the stem broke, but then he thought it would be ok to mutilate it more since it was already broken. I was a little mad. But then it was just a flower. Nothing to get super upset about.
Second, earlier this week I fell down the stairs, call me a dunce, and got bruises on my knees and shins. I rarely get bruises, and when I do they're normally really bad. So, the pain is already almost unbearable, but then Teddybear (a.k.a. Jeep, a.k.a. JB) kicked me in the shins. I was in the utmost pain.
Third, and lastly, I was faced with a head-knocking decisions. I couldn't decide what i wanted to do over the weekend. Big deal, I know. But I had a lot of people asking to hang out, or see movies, or whatever and I just couldn't decide what to do. I hate putting people down, and they're all my really good, close friends. So, I’m faced with the decision of choosing between them.
and those were the events of the day. There are many more then that. But they're just little details that made my day worse here and there.

the loss of innocence

Somehow, the world seems to have lost all meaning to me. I don't get the same feelings that I used to get when I was small and full of innocence. I don't know if that's good or not, but I find it useless and makes me day worse when I know I'm in a situation or setting that would have utterly made me feel humble and so in awe of things, just leaves me there with the impression that I did something wrong along the way that led up to this useless day.

I long for those days

So, my life is hectic. I know that as a fact now. I wish it wasn't. I wish it was back to how it was a long time ago. During the summer, when I was around the age of 6. That's how I want it to be. Spending the long days running barefoot, picking fights with the boys, getting covered in dirt and mud, riding my bike to the creek and going swimming. Why can't it be like that? Why can't it be like the way it was? The way i long for. The way I wish it could have stayed, forever. Why couldn't it?